Looking for ...

the blond cutie that got off the tube at Holborn this morning and
looked back several times! Please get in touch, or enable your
bluetooth next time! My phone's name is GBD, unsurprisingly! ;) Thanks

To fear or not to fear?

I was waiting at Heathrow (domestic) arrivals the other day and I have
to admit it's such am interesting place to people watch! It's
heart-warning so many people arriving and meeting their loved ones. It
reminded me a bit of scene from the film 'Love Actually'. It's also
fascinating to see how people of different backgrounds display (or
not!) affection in public. That's something i've never been very good
at. I mean, i'm quite happy holding a "girlfriend's" hand in public,
but when it comes to boyfriends or just a friendly peck on the cheek
of a male friend I just don't feel very comfortable. I get these ideas
that we'll be seen by gaybashers and get abuse, verbal and/or
physical. I know my fears are sometimes completely unfounded
(paranoia, perhaps) and even though I have experienced homophobia, i
wouldn't in as far as calling it 'abuse'. So why in this day and age
do I feel this way? Do you ever feel threatened this way? I think it's
possible to live a gay life, going to gay establishments, having gay
friends and generally feeling comfortable in one's behaviour,
mannerisms and so on, but is that counter-productive as far as
integration, raising awareness and making sexual orientation a
non-issue, something that shouldn't differentiate us from each other?
Clearly i'm exaggerating a bit, most of us DO have straight friends,
colleagues, siblings or housemates.
I remember that this was a major
issue in my second relationship. My then boyfriend was a lot more
touchy feely than I am and he couldn't keep his hands off me! (I don't
blame him, btw ;)). Since then (5 years ago!), my confidence has
increased a lot, but i still think about it twice before making any
attempt at physical contact in public. Are my fears unjustified?

Relationship stuff

I was "reminded" the other night that my blog has been fairly "quiet" recently, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to give you a quick update.

Mr D and I are no longer romantically involved. We still talk to and see each other but it's all a bit indifferent, I guess. "What happened?", I hear you ask! Well, I'm glad you asked! We had an argument, as many people do. It wasn't about anything of importance. In fact, it was so trivial, I thought it was completely stupid.

Was it a waste of time? (That's you asking again, btw :-P) No, not at all! Why not? (Keep up the good work, you're getting good at interviewing ;-) ). Because it taught me something about Mr D and reminded me something about myself. There is one characteristic that I find very attractive in men, intellectual maturity. OK, that doesn’t really mean very much on its own, so I’d better qualify what I mean.

With the exception of let’s-argue-so-that-we-can-make-up-afterwards type, most arguments tend not to be very much fun, not for me anyway. I guess there are people out there, perhaps competitive by nature, who like the challenge of winning an argument, proving that they are right, getting an adrenaline hit or whatever. Whether one enjoys arguing or not, I still think there should be a ‘code of conduct’ when it comes to doing so, especially between friends, lovers or co-workers.

GBD’s number one tip for arguing effectively, in an intellectually mature manner that won’t cause any long-term damage to the relationship? Avoid aiming below the belt! Making hurtful comments (even if they are widely accepted as true) may win a few points and the battle in the short term but eventually lead to doubt and pain that is very difficult to recover from, especially if the relationship was not established in the first place.

Anyway, I’ve had a couple of dates since then, so stay tuned for further adventures of ‘GBD and the city’.

*fade to cheesy music*

Commitment

I love the new Aussie shampoo advert on the Tube. It starts with 'Long
term commitment' but what really made me laugh was the second
sentence: 'Well that's stopped all the men in the carriage reading any
further'! Lol!

Harry Potter mania!

You gotta love some of the Harry Potter book summaries found on the BBC website! :-)