One night stands!

Well, I don't like 'em! it always seems like a good idea to have one, especially if the other person looks great (shallow? moi?) but I suppose I am more of relationship kinda boy! Don't get me wrong, take part in one is usually fun but when the act reaches a conclusion I find myself feeling empty. I prefer making love to having sex, I guess. It's nice to know that the person you are physically intimate with is someone you care for and someone you feel comfortable with.

So, why are they so popular? I guess instant gratification without the problems of a relationship. Also, one can be quite selfish during a one night stand and give or take as much as he/she likes; there's not need to worry about the other person that much.

But why do I do them? I guess I'm going through that phase in my life that I'm not really after a relationship, not because I don't want one but mainly because I think that this is not a good time for to get in another relationship. But then again, not wanting a boyfriend doesn't mean having sex with other people just for the sake of it. This is particularly true since I feel that sex isn't important in my life. Then why? is it a physical "need"? is it the alcohol? I guess both of these count towards it but I believe the main reason is because I want to feel wanted/desired.

This is quite therapeutic, I wonder what the real reason for wanting to feel desired is. I think I'll have to go away and think about it for a while. Is it rejection? I don't know.

Vanity!

I was having a shower earlier and realised that I have way too many toiletries! Is it just me? do all gay men have the same amount of goo for face/body/hair? I guess so. I suspect some have even more stuff. The question is ... do straight guys have many beauty products too?

hmmm, let's see, all the things I have to pack every time I go somewhere: 1. razor 2. shaving foam 3. aftershave balm 4. moisturizer 5. eye cream 6. anti-fatigue cream 7. tootbrush 8. toothpaste 9. dental floss 10. facial scrub 11. toner 12. cotton buds 13. cotton pads 14. shower gel 15. hair gel 16. shampoo 17. mouth wash 18. contact lenses case 19. solution 20. specs 21. body/hand cream. Phewwww, I even have things that I use but don't take with me when I travel!

I can feel a "this is what's in my bathroom" photo blog entry coming soon!

Sex? Yes, but not as we know it! Part deux! (the sequel)

I heard somewhere that "it's not sex if you don't ... come". I don't agree with this for obvious reasons. What happens if two people start having sex but before they climax someone's mother/wife/husband/chauffeur walks in and interrupts them, surely the two people involved have sinned, regardless if they completed their extracurricular activity, right? glad you agree! or if we consider the case of a famous American citizen, an intern and a stained dress ... erm, actually, better not cause that'll confuse me even more.

Aaaaanyway, let's consider the following scenarios and if they could be described as having sex or not. I have volunteered to use myself as a guinea pig and "pretend" I am performing these. Disclaimer: I'm only doing this to help you visualize what's happening, it does not necessarily mean that I have been involved in situations like these.

Scenario A: I am masturbating, thinking of someone else! (obviously, I'm not THAT hot!).
IMHO: Not sex!

Scenario B: I am masturbating, thinking of someone else! He happens to be in the same room as me! Well, "looking" is probably better than "thinking", in this case.
IMHO: Not sex!

Scenario C: I am masturbating, looking at someone else! He happens to be in the same room as me! He is masturbating too!
IMHO: Not sex!

Scenario D: I am masturbating, looking as someone else! He happens to be in the same room as me! He is masturbating too! We are touching each other in places other than our genitals!
IMHO: Probably not sex!

Scenario E: We are masturbating each other!
IMHO: Sex! I am a prude :-(

Sex? Yes, but not as we know it!

Did you know that men who don't have sex very frequently spend a lot of time thinking about it? Well, I suppose men who have sex on a regular basis spend a considerable amount thinking about it too.

Aaaanyway, I have been thinking about sex quite a bit recently (shock, horror) and was wondering ...

• What is sex???? (by which, I mean "sexual intercourse").
• How do you know if you're having it? (hopefully it'll be good enough to keep you awake?!? mind you, there was this one time ... erm, that's another story).
• Is foreplay part of sex? or does sex start later?

Let's have a look at some definitions:

[Sexual intercourse is] the act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman; the man's penis is inserted into the woman's vagina and excited until orgasm and ejaculation occur. (Taken from WordNet 1.7.1. Retrieved January 18, 2006). I like this definition because it makes me officially a virgin! on the other hand, I don't particularly like the fact that it doesn't take into consideration gay/lesbian or any other type of sexual intercourse.

Wikipedia on the other hand has a more "open" definition of the term:

Sexual intercourse or coitus is the human form of copulation. The term sexual intercourse may refer to a wider range of sexual activities than the term coitus, which usually only refers to male-female genital sex. [...] Sexual intercourse may be preceded by foreplay which leads to sexual arousal of the partners [...] (Taken from Wikipedia. Retrieved January 18, 2006). I think I like this definition much better. The use of "preceded" in the second part also gives an answer to one of my questions, i.e. sexual intercourse and foreplay are different phases, right? hmmmm, I'm confused now. Isn't sex and sexual intercourse the same? well, I'll assume they are, unless someone can correct me.

Maybe examining dictionary definitions is not the right way to approach this topic. I think I will come up with hypothetical scenarios and compare this with MY preconception of what sex really easy. By altering slightly the scenarios I hope to able to come up with a VERY generic definition of "sex" and when it starts. *crosses fingers, legs and toes*

TBC

Attitude!

I don't know if I was blind before, or what, but I never remembering meeting that many gay men that used to piss me off! Maybe it was the lack of contact with guys who were not my friends already or maybe people's attitudes have changed recently, but within a short amount of time I have met several people who fall into the following categories:

• The Husband Wannabe (THW). This is someone who expects you to fall in love with them instantly and wants to know where you are, who you're with and what you're doing every minute of the day (even on the day of first talking to them - This is an extreme case, called TEHW, where E is extreme!). On a positive side, this could all appear as cute, should your feelings for THW be equally as strong.
• The Me Me Me Queen With Attitude (TMMMQWA). This is usually younger, childish, selfish gay boy who gets stroppy when he doesn't get what he wants. Older specimens of this have been encountered and are equally as annoying, one could say even more so since age or lack of experience is not a valid excuse any more.

One very therapeutic way of dealing with these "special" people is to block the fockers on MSN and then delete them! Some of them will undoubtably find a way to get in touch and remind you that it's your loss (yeah yeah yeah) but tend to give up when they find someone else to stalk or their lipbalm needs reapplying.

Dealing with the real-life ones is a bit more tricky. Watch this space, I'll let you know when I've found a solution.

I love you all!